Tilting at Gay Marriage

If you want to make a conservative look really dumb, bring up gay marriage. Yes I know evolution is great for laughs too. (Gaps in the fossil record? Bwahahahaha….) But nothing quite captures the vapidity of conservatism as the gay marriage issue – exposing them as empty dogmatists, whose beliefs are fundamentally based on nothing but belief itself.

1. Biology

Conservatives often come at gay marriage by attacking the state of being gay – characterizing it as deviant, if not abhorrent – as some aberration that at best deserves tolerance, not respect or validation.

But being gay is natural, normal, and COMMON. On the spectrum of human traits, it’s somewhat less common than being left-handed, but much more common than being red-haired. We know, furthermore, that homosexuality is rooted in biology, not personal choice, because it occurs universally across all human cultures – past and present – and because it’s (weakly) hereditary. It occurs in many other animal species. Among bonobos – our closest genetic cousins (with chimps) – gay sex isnt just common – it’s the norm: sex between females occurs more frequently than any other kind. (Bonobos, those clever apes, have also discerned the advantages of oral sex and the missionary position – without the benefit of adult videos or the internet.)

Conservatives will assert that marriage is fundamentally about having babies – incognizant (or willfully ignorant) of marriage between septuagenarians and other infertile couples. Marriage does indeed have a biological basis – as does sexuality: it’s all about the pair bond. Anyone who argues that sex is all about having children likely hasnt had very much of it – or had much fun at it.

2. Culture

If culture should guide us, conservatives need to buckle themselves in: worldwide, polygamy is quite common, and has been for much of human history. Culture, furthermore, is dynamic, and western culture now commonly accepts and endorses gay marriage. Numerous Christian and Jewish denominations accept gay marriage among their adherents, and even perform religious marriage ceremonies for same-sex couples.

3. Semantics

When all else fails, a desperate conservative’s last parry is the assertion that marriage is “defined” as being between one man and one woman. But try as you may, you will not a single modern dictionary that does not include “gay marriage” as one definition of “marriage”.

Gay Marriage is among those rarest of issues, where there’s just one side to the argument. That’s why the acceptance and institutionalization of gay marriage is proliferating throughout the US and across the developed world. Gay Marriage to a conservative is like a windmill to Don Quixote – the attack is as irresistible as it is futile – and laughable. Their only weapons are bigotry and ignorance – and our observance of their folly greatly aids our development of a pathology of conservatism.

While being gay is quite normal and natural, conservatism in many respects resembles mental illness – one hopes that a treatment may someday be had.












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